Over a hundred men and women huddled around the instructors perched on a mattress in the middle of the large hotel conference room floor and watched breathlessly as the couple demonstrated variations on the five basic lovemaking positions. With dance-like grace, Tantric masters Charles and Caroline Muir flowed through the movements, explaining the value of making these transitions while constantly maintaining body contact.“In the art of conscious loving the partners always stay connected,” explains Charles, who with his wife Caroline has been teaching seminars on “conscious loving” for twelve years.The sexual positions demo was only one of the highly anticipated instructions of the weekend course given by the Muirs, who occasionally venture from their native Hawaii to the mainland to offer the weekend course.

Flying to California from New York for this experience was hardly trouble, since I had made longer international journeys to be with these friends and masters.Most of the attendees had heard about the Muirs’ weekend by word of mouth. Friends raved about the secrets to lovemaking, including how women can achieve deeper orgasms, how men can last longer, and how couples can use sexual energy for increasing intimacy, healing, and attaining an altered state of loving bliss. Who can resist such promise, especially when it delivers?At the Friday night opening ritual, Charles and Caroline explain in duet how tantra is the ancient spiritual system and skills from India that consider the union of the Goddess Shakti, the feminine creative force, with the God Shiva, as a sacred act releasing divine consciousness. The goal of loving sex then, is not performance or orgasm, but an energy exchange between lovers.Conscious loving means nourishing your partnership as you would a garden, devoting as much attention, care, and thoughtfulness to your relationship as you would to a career, family, or cause,” Charles explains.The couples and singles break up into concentric circles with the men on the outside, as Charles and Caroline circulate around the room giving instructions. “Look deeply into the eyes of the person facing you and see the God and Goddess within.”

At each station around the circle, we greet another soul, transmitting energy through our body, out our hand placed gently on the other’s heart, and receiving through our own. Each pair becomes a circle of energy, and suddenly the whole room feels lifted into a higher dimension.I feel transformed, no longer a psychologist, author, and radio talk show host among a room of real estate agents, writers, photographers, and sales execs, but transported into a galaxy of Gods and Goddesses. Breathing deeply as if for the first time and looking deeper into another’s eyes than ever before, we are freed from the earthly plane into the essence of our souls.Now primed, we are ready for our first hands-on exercise. We partner up to touch each other’s arm (no private parts in class) to experience new depths of sensitivity in the art of exotic touch.As class ends, the energy is high and no one wants to leave.The next morning brings more exercises to heighten and exchange energy. Each woman selects a man (in a purposeful reversal of real life) and we take turns tapping along each other’s spine, to awaken the energy therein. In the lesson on love, the Muirs advise inviting God into the sacred act, and discount foreplay in favor of continuous play.By late afternoon it is hard to believe that we are actually ready for one of the seemingly most advanced exercises: healing through the man giving, and the woman receiving, sacred spot massage. The sexes split up, with the men following Charles to another room for instruction on how to honor their Goddess that night. The women gather around Caroline and assistant tantra instructor Miriam Serman, for a discussion on every woman’s birthright to orgasm and the “Amrita” flow -- that mysterious female ejaculation, whose existence experts still debate. One participant frets, “What if I don’t have the flow?”

Not to worry, Caroline reassures her, just enjoy being pleased. All of us -- from age 20 to 60 and all walks of life -- feel united by our shared excitement and anxiety about the night ahead.The men reenter the room, eager and impish, armed with new knowledge. Couples leave together, including single women with the single men they have chosen to partner with for the night. A few singles retire alone, hoping to someday find someone to practice the lessons with.In assembly the next morning, the couples share the previous night’s experience. Stories range from disappointment to delirious delight. Tears flowed down Sharon’s cheeks as she told the group how she and her husband Alan were about to split up, but as he was bathing and massaging her last night, she became hopeful they could rekindle their love. Daria cried as she reported how her body had shaken like never before under her boyfriend’s attention. And Kelly nuzzled closer to his “date” from last evening as he proudly announced he had given her no less than three expulsions that drenched the bed. The others gasped, but fell sadly silent as Rochelle shared next how painful her partner’s touch had been, reviving memories of old abuse. In loving tones, the Muirs championed her progress towards healing.Sunday afternoon, we are instructed on the man’s turn, where the woman was to prepare the room, herself, and him, for his sexual healing to happen that night.

As the time for parting approaches, Charles (a master yogi for over thirty years) leads us through several stretches. We reach up to the ceiling, then bend to the ground, and lift up vertebra by vertebra. Then we reach behind our back to stretch open our chest, expanding our heart space.Now we are ready for the closing ritual. Once again in concentric circles, the Goddesses chant and sway, and then bow and greet the Gods one by one, connecting their divinity. The room lifts in high spiritual energy. At one station, the women are asked to see the man before them as all the past lovers who may have hurt them, and transform him into the most caring, loving, perfect man. Moving on to the next, the men are instructed to embrace the woman facing him, as if he were the perfect loving, supportive father she may not have had in real life. Then the women are asked to be the perfect loving female, and then mother, to the men before them. Looking into the men’s eyes, we see their wounds and heal them with our love.The leaders make a final incantation of loving, serving, and honoring ourselves, our beloved's, and the world. Many, including myself, cry from the beauty of it all and the sadness that it is over, for now.The group scatters to pack their handouts and belongings. Some linger to exchange phone numbers and their excitement over their new love skills, or to buy the Muirs’ excellent videos, audio tapes, and book. Everyone has learned a lot about being a master lover.

Many of us can’t wait to come again, for more instruction in conscious loving.Dr. Judy is a clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist, and radio and television personality. Her syndicated call-in advice radio show “Love Phones” airs on KNFO in Aspen and KTLK in Denver, and her popular book “Generation Sex” and the newly released “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex” are available at Between the Covers.