I don’t know a guy who wouldn’t love to give a woman one of those elusive G-spot orgasms, or a woman who doesn’t want to have one.

When news about the G spot—an erotically sensitive spot in the vagina that can trigger orgasm and even ejaculation—first came out in the 1950s and was “rediscovered” in the 1980s, some researchers claimed every woman had one, while others disagreed and warned women against feeling frustrated at not finding it.

Now, in the 90s, tantric sex teachers Charles and Caroline Muir claim G-spot orgasms are every woman’s birthright, and after taking their Conscious Loving seminar at Rio Caliente Spa in Mexico, I’m a believer. Every woman can have G-spot orgasms, and men are important helpers.

Guys, first, an attitude adjustment: Consider yourself her sexual healer, servant and guide. Think of your penis not just as something to get up and get off, but as a wand of light (called lingam) to use as a master artist uses a paintbrush, to pleasure her body and open her soul.

The key is sacred spot (G-spot) massage. But don’t be hasty, guys. Build your woman’s trust by making love totally for her, without expectation of return. While your beloved (note the wonderful name) bathes, prepare the bedroom as a temple (candles, incense, flowers, music), and “beautify “ yourself. Nestle tenderly, kiss passionately, breathe together, meditating on love and openness, to connect your moods.

Massage her thighs, hips, and pubic bone, then proceed up her belly, around her breasts, down her arms, and back to the thighs, moving her “energy” for five minutes. Then gently stroke her vaginal lips and clitoris as if they were precious jewels.

One man in the seminar described it well: "I teased and tantalized her until I felt her respond. Then I asked if I could enter her sacred spot.”

With permission granted, insert a finger and reach just behind the pubic bone in the front wall of the vagina, curling it in a “come here” gesture. You’ll know you’ve located the right spot if the tissue changes from smooth to ridgy, like corduroy or the roof of your mouth. Hold with light pressure to bring her consciousness there. Then stroke downward and around, or vibrate your hand (with palm pressed against her clitoris). Place your other hand on her heart or stomach and look into each other’s eyes to complete sending a circuit of love.

Send out your energy. Charles Muir says to his goddess (another wonderful name), “I honor you and thank you for all you do for me and offer you this healing, love, intimacy, and all that I am, so you may be all you can be.” Caroline answers, “I gratefully receive your heart, healing, and love.”

The beloved’s role is to lie back, enjoy, and give feedback (“That feels good”, “Go slower”). But be prepared for occasional rocky patches. She may feel like peeing (it’ll pass), or have physical reactions (burning, bruising), or emotional outbursts (rage, distrust, crying) related to past experiences (which may require therapy).

Follow the steps in the Muirs’ video “Secrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy” ($39.95) or their audio cassette and pamphlet “Awakening the Goddess: Freeing the Female Orgasm ($29.95), available from the Source School of Tantra®.

Susan used to struggle for even one orgasm, but after months of practicing the sacred spot massage with David, she gleefully reported, “I now get never-ending waves of pleasure.” Her sacred spot was awakened enough to squirt forth fluid (through the urethra)—not urine that can come from letting go, but the divine nectar referred to in ancient India as amrita, and what I call “e-jill-ulation” (as in “Jill” versus “Jack”).

The otherwise silent and lazy Mexican nights came alive with screams of release, and both joy and pain from the seminar couples as they practiced the Muirs’ homework - proving that the G spot is real, and awakening from sacred spot massage.